New STD Spreads GOPer Legs

Subject: CDC Warning

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years.
Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

The Lie Clocks

A friend sent this along:
A man died and went to heaven.
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicatingthat she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man.
"And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man. Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.

Impeach Bush Coalition

From the Fox Anchor:

And so, Iraq got a new constitution . . .
As Saddam goes on trial, the new "Auntie" Jane volunteers to lead cheers for the prosecution:
Back in the USA, some of the elderly sample the new Medicare Drug Benefit:

Meanwhile, Bush catches up on the latest geopolitcal facts:

If Freud designed movie posters: